Making a Case for Sober Dating | The Ferentz Institute

Here is an article that addresses an important issue.

During a therapy session I was sitting with a very bright, successful, attractive and single thirty-something who was expressing her frustrations about the dating scene. “Every time I agree to go out with someone new, things feel great for the first two dates and I get really excited. And then reality sets in and I realize either we actually have very little in common, I’m not so attracted to him after all, or there are big issues that somehow got ignored.” We were both curious about why her judgment was initially “off” and how she was able to ignore the red flags that suddenly seemed to reappear after a few dates.

In the past, when I thought it was relevant, I’ve asked my clients to notice how much alcohol got consumed during the date itself, and whether or not there was a connection between alcohol use and sexual boundaries. However, it never occurred to me to ask about “pre-gaming”; drinking at home or in a nearby bar before going out on the actual date. In the case of the aforementioned client, I was genuinely surprised to discover that she was drinking, on average, three glasses of wine before her date rang the doorbell to pick her up. She also confirmed that “most of her friends” drink before going out with someone new.

Read full article: Making a Case for Sober Dating | The Ferentz Institute